Terms & Conditions
Yes, the begging has terms. Read them — they're short, honest, and the jokes are load-bearing. Last updated: June 29, 2026
1. What this is
This website ("the Site") accepts voluntary personal gifts to one (1) human software developer ("the Developer", "me") whose career is being enthusiastically automated. Payments made through this Site are donations to a private individual. They are not purchases. They are not investments. They are not tickets, subscriptions, services, or goods. They are you, giving me money, because you found this funny or my situation relatable. That's the entire transaction.
2. What you get (and what you don't)
In exchange for your donation you receive a novelty digital certificate and, if you choose, your name on the Wall of Legends. These are comedic keepsakes with no monetary value, no warranty, and no resale value — they are not goods, services, investments, or anything you could take to a bank or a court. The other "perks" on the donation tiers (eternal gratitude, moral superiority, having a variable named after you, being my legally-not-legally favorite person, etc.) are jokes — comedic flourishes with no monetary value, no delivery date, and no enforceability. Your donation is a gift, given freely, with nothing of monetary value expected or owed in return. That is the part that matters, and the reason donations are non-refundable.
3. Who may donate
By donating, you confirm that: you are at least 18 years old (or the age of legal majority where you live); the money is yours to give and was obtained lawfully; and you are donating of your own free will, of sound-ish mind, and not under duress from this website's jokes. If you are a minor, please get a grown-up's permission — or, ideally, ask the grown-up to donate instead.
4. No refunds (but talk to me first)
Donations are final and non-refundable. Once donated, your money immediately begins its new life as rent, instant noodles, or therapy. That said, genuine mistakes happen — if you fat-fingered an extra zero or your toddler donated your phone bill, email me at donations@fundmyobsolescence.com within 14 days and I'll refund honest errors. I'm doomed, not heartless. Before opening a PayPal dispute or a card chargeback, please email me first — a friendly message resolves things faster than a formal dispute, and it keeps a soon-to-be-unemployed person's payment account from getting flagged.
5. Not a charity
I am not a registered charity, nonprofit, NGO, foundation, or cause. I am a guy. Donations are not tax-deductible in any country, jurisdiction, galaxy, or accounting fantasy. If your accountant says otherwise, your accountant is doing crimes.
6. The Dog Rescue Pledge
Donations remain personal gifts to me (see Section 2). Separately, and entirely of my own free will, I pledge to give half of all donations I receive to dog-rescue organizations of my choosing — released at milestones and documented publicly, by receipt for smaller milestone donations and by video for larger ones. The current milestone schedule is shown on the home page. To be clear about what this is and isn't: this Site is not a charity, not a registered fundraiser, and is not collecting on behalf of any organization. You donate to me; I then choose, freely, to give half away. This pledge is a personal commitment I intend to honor transparently — it is not a contractual term, a restricted fund, or a trust, and creates no enforceable right for any donor or third party. Which rescue receives funds, the timing, and the form of proof are at my discretion.
7. Payments
All payments are processed by PayPal under PayPal's own terms of service. This Site never sees, touches, stores, or transmits your card number or payment credentials. Disputes about payment processing itself are between you and PayPal; disputes about the wisdom of donating are between you and your conscience.
8. Cookies, analytics & privacy
The Site uses Google Analytics and Google Ads tags (gtag.js), which set cookies and collect standard usage data — pages viewed, approximate location, device type — so I can watch the visitor graph instead of doing my job (while I still have one) and measure whether my ads actually bring in fellow sufferers. Google's processing is governed by Google's privacy policy. If you visit from the EU, UK, or EEA, no analytics cookies load until you accept them via the cookie banner — decline and none are set. Everywhere else, by continuing to use the Site you consent to analytics cookies; you can still opt out via your browser or Google's opt-out add-on. You can change your choice anytime with the "Cookie choices" link in the footer. Beyond that: no accounts, no newsletter ambush, no selling your data (nobody's buying — trust me, I checked what my data sells for). The Site also stores a few values in your browser's localStorage (doom-counter date, your YouTube vote) which never leave your device. When you donate, PayPal tells me your name and email on the receipt — I will use them exclusively to feel grateful, and never to spam you.
9. The jokes (and the certificate)
The Site contains satire, hyperbole, fabricated statistics, fictional testimonials (clearly labeled as such), and a countdown timer whose stated methodology is "vibes". None of it is a representation of fact. The doom counter is not a prophecy. The AI quotes are not real quotes. The "Certificate of Charitable Contribution" you receive is a novelty keepsake — it is not a tax receipt, legal instrument, or proof of anything except excellent taste. It literally says "LEGALLY MEANINGLESS" on it, in writing, which should settle any debate.
10. No warranties
The Site is provided "as is" and "as available", with no warranties of any kind, express or implied — much like my career. I do not warrant that the Site will be uninterrupted, error-free, or funny to your specific taste.
11. Limitation of liability
To the maximum extent permitted by law, the Developer's total liability to you for any claim arising from this Site or your donation shall not exceed the amount you donated, or one (1) rubber duck, whichever is less funny.
12. Governing law
These terms are governed by the laws of the State of Israel. Any disputes shall be resolved in the competent courts of Israel — or, ideally, over coffee, which you may also fund.
13. Changes
I may update these terms occasionally, e.g. if the machines unionize or my lawyer-shaped friends spot a problem. The latest version lives on this page, timestamped above.
14. Contact
Questions, complaints, refund requests, or job offers: donations@fundmyobsolescence.com. Response times may vary depending on how unemployed I am at the moment of writing.